dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
