i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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