My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
