I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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