i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
