we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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