no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My pussy is not your playground.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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