Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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