i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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