He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize