quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
