he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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