dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
