so explain again why im purple
no
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My bed smells like the plague
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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