i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
