i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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