You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
