physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
