she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
