the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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