see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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