Having a random hookup so left but love u
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
that is very illegal...i love you.
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