just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
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and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
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It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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