On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
