Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
