I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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