I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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