there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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