So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
