Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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