i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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