i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
