my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
