And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
