Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
