That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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