I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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