ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
