Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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