That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
