I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
either way he was missing a nipple.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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