Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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