yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I look better un-naked...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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