The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
