apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
