I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
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