Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
