He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Randomize
