he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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