Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize