oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
