so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
