Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
