When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
