Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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