I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
