sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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