Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
