obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
