I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
