If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
