Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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