Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just invented taco cereal.
You took a bar mat shot.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
