Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize